I have just returned from a beautiful trip to Europe, and I thought I’d share a bit about some of my wins and learnings. Travel is a great teacher, for life in general, but also from a brain retraining and healing perspective and I learnt a lot on this trip. When I write and share I am always thinking about what past me would love to read. The past version of me who was suffering with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Lyme Disease and was desperately clinging to hope would shed many tears of happiness if she could see what I’ve been up to recently (although she probably wouldn’t believe it at first!)

_{Pictured above are film snaps from Portugal: friends from a yoga camp in Ericeira and Porto.}

Wins & Positive Moments

I had so many wins that if I typed them all out this blog post will be too long (it still will be too long, classic me!). I am also starting to experience the feeling that when I do things it’s just normal now and no big deal, I have to keep consciously reminding myself of the wins and the progress I have made. Here are some of my favourites:

• My physical capacity and energy was the best it has been in a long time. Hiking for over 5 hours one day near San Sebastian was definitely a highlight! Another day I cycled from St Jean de Luz in France down to Hendaye and caught a boat across to the small Spanish town Hondarribia. This was my first time without an E-Bike and it was a challenge with a lot of hills. I loved having active and adventurous days like this.
• Doing surf lessons was a big win and a more cardio-intensive activity that I enjoyed!! I have been wanting to learn to surf for a long time (thank you to my lovely friend Katie for inspiring me to go). The beautiful beach I learnt on is pictured above.
• Sightseeing in multiple cities was a light and joyful experience. I was very appreciative that I could walk around with a feeling of lightness and see sights with ease, surpassing 15k steps most days.
• I did a one week yoga camp in Portugal with yoga classes twice a day!! Very grateful for how much I was able to enjoy these classes
• During my trip I missed a connecting flight and had to spend the night in Madrid without my luggage. I was surprised how well I handled this, with calm and acceptance (and just a little bit of BO the next day when I had to rewear the same clothes)
• In general I felt I was able to deal with all the unexpected things that travel threw at me with a lot of ease and without having my nervous system become activated. For example, I almost missed a bus one day, this would have triggered a stress response in the past. I have more control now, I am able to laugh things off and accept situations. I also didn’t get stressed about any issues that arose from the language barrier.
• I used to be a hyper-organised traveller and know exactly what bus I would be getting, and the distance from the train/airport to the hotel etc. I noticed I was much more carefree, knowing whatever happened I would figure it out. This is a much more enjoyable way to travel!
• I stayed in a few hostels which was unimaginable for me before with my trouble sleeping, sensitivity to smells as well as my general illness induced high-maintenance. Can’t say they were my favourite but that wasn’t because of any illness related reasons.
• I had a very minimal supplement regime and was very laid back with my usual diet, this was a big win for me. I still felt energetic and well despite being out of my usual health routine. I ate a lot of gluten and dairy, and I enjoyed it. Having this flexibility in diet and the shift in my mindset that allowed me to enjoy it was a win. Moving away from my perfectionist mindset around health has been great for me.
• My brain’s capacity was great throughout the trip!! I rarely ever felt brain fog, and I actually wrote a few blog posts whilst away mid travel. Having this capacity to use my brain is a win and something I am loving !! (Clearly a little too much when you see how much I am writing these days)
• I was able to do more on certain days of my cycle with relative ease, especially compared to my experience traveling in Japan 6 months ago (you can read about that here). This is an area I am still working on, but doing a surf lesson the day before my period was a HUGE win, I used to nap and have intense fatigue in the days prior to my period. I also am feeling more balanced emotionally around different parts of my cycle.
• I had a lot of days where I felt truly HAPPY and FREE. Those with chronic illness know that you can feel chained down by illness, even when out achieving things. I’ve enjoyed feeling total freedom again.

Insights Gained from Traveling: A Nervous System Regulation Perspective

• Travel is an amazing teacher. From a neuroplasticity perspective, being in a completely new environment, out of my usual habits and routines, made me realise patterns of behaviour and self-limiting beliefs I am still imposing on myself. My goal now is to bring these new perspectives back home, to shake up where I am at. For example, I went surfing in Portugal, but I live next to the beach at home and hadn’t pushed myself to try that yet at home due to fears around my fitness.
• Being in new environments also shook me out of repetitive thought patterns and looping thoughts that I had been stuck in prior to leaving. I was working on releasing certain thoughts around people and certain symptoms, and felt like I had plateaued in moving away from these thought patterns. After a few weeks of traveling I realised I had stopped having them. I think the new environment and being busy allowed me to naturally let go of some thought patterns that weren’t beneficial for me. Some thoughts were perhaps linked to my routine at home, and when that routine was gone it seemed they disappeared as well.
• I have to confess, I did barely any DNRS rounds, and as my travel progressed I lost more and more of my usual nervous system regulation routine (meditation, breathwork etc). On reflection, I think this was a good thing for me and I am totally ok with it!! Prior to leaving for this trip I had spent 6 months where my number one priority was intensely focusing on DNRS, Primal Trust and nervous system regulation. It had been my priority for 12+ months prior to this, but the last 6 months in particular I found myself with energy to do more things and decided to really dedicate it to nervous system work. Most days I was spending 1-2 hours a day focused on this, which was amazing and I am proud of myself for this dedication. I know it allowed me to make a lot of progress. However, a few weeks prior to my trip I started to feel a bit burnt out by it all, and I felt I needed a break from everything constantly being about healing. I have previously written about balancing living with healing here, and I feel I experienced more of this in action when I was traveling. I had days where I didn’t think about illness at all, and felt completely FREE. It had been years since I have felt that way. Low and behold, I had certain symptoms improve once I let go of focusing on them. My sleep was amazing (even in some less than desirable accomodations), and my digestion also improved. Now that I am back home, I am looking for more hobbies and work that isn’t health related. I plan to focus more on living with nervous system regulation on the side, instead of it being my absolute priority.
• In saying that, whilst I did not go backwards and still progressed from the break, I definitely felt the trip confirmed that I still need an ongoing practice to reach higher levels of healing. I am excited to be home and restart my DNRS rounds, and other practices. My goal is to continue to aim for an hour a day of nervous system regulation work. In the last week in London in particular I did feel as though my nervous system had less capacity than at the start of my trip. I also felt my body was sensitive to some of the changes with travel, for example my cycle wasn’t as easeful as it has started to be, and this is an indicator to me that I do need to continue building capacity via all my healing work.
• I also feel reinvigorated to recommit to brain retraining & nervous system work after a little break. It’s tough work doing DNRS rounds for 2 years ongoing, I think the break and having ups and downs in my levels of commitment is natural and having little breaks allows me to keep recommitting.
• For full transparency, yes I did get some symptoms, and I know there is still more for me to work on. I choose not to focus on these as part of my brain retraining work, but I do also want to be honest. These symptoms are becoming less and less, and I know that with more time spent healing with my nervous system work, they will continue to dissipate.
• I learnt from this trip that you can’t go backwards from a break. I know many brain retrainers fear taking time off from doing their rounds and visualisation routines. However, I believe those brain pathways that are built from consistent rounds don’t disappear, and after a break just need reminding that those are the pathways to stay on. Eventually there will come a point when my brain will automatically choose those pathways and I will no longer need a committed practice but for now, I am happy to recommit and take my healing further.
• I learnt that visualisations are an amazing tool for healing, but now I am at a place where I have the capacity to push and learn by doing. Taking that initial leap of faith to do something new is the hardest part, but almost always has worked in my favour. When it is too much it’s just a learning opportunity for my nervous system to be ready next time. I think there comes a point when I have to get out of my head and bedroom doing visualisations and take the bold steps to actually get out and live.
• Traveling did make me realise how often I am having the thought pattern, “oh, I can’t because I’m sick” or, “it’s hard because of my illness history” – I am really at a place now where I can get rid of that thought pattern now.

_{Pictured above are some more snaps from my film camera: San Sebastian, Hendaye and hiking in Annecy.}

Some Tips for Enhancing Nervous System Resilience While Traveling

Whilst I skipped a lot of DNRS rounds, meditations and formal brain retraining exercises whilst traveling, I have a few ways that I managed to integrate this practice into my day. I do not think this is a replacement for the proper practice but it is supportive:

• When I am walking around, I often narrate a DNRS round in my head describing what I am seeing and experiencing. I then do the technique of pulling colour through my body as I am walking. I was doing this in Paris, a city I love and had done a lot of visualisations of prior to visiting. I truly felt that amazing elevated state as I was walking around, it was as though the sidewalk was filling me up with this magical light and colour. I think because I am further along in my retraining journey I am able to trigger this elevated state and cascade of DOSE (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, Endorphins) with thought alone now (the same feelings that previously I needed full rounds of visualisations to get to). I just have to remember to tap into that feeling throughout my day and to keep it elevated for as long as I can.
• I try to ensure I have moments when I stop and feel gratitude throughout my day. When I am seeing a pretty sight, or even stopping at a cafe for a break I remind myself how grateful I am.
• With time I have become more aware of when my nervous system is in a sympathetic or more activated state. With this awareness I also feel I have more capacity to shift it back. When I was in busy cities like London and Paris with a lot of people and stimulation I noticed my body would start to shift into adrenaline/overdrive. I am able to calm myself by using various tools. One is to consciously say to myself, “we are safe” and take a deep breath. Another is to pull the colour through my body or consciously shift into gratitude. Often just awareness and slowing my breathing is enough to bring myself back.
• When I did have symptoms I am very proud of myself as I feel I have almost mastered being non-reactive to them!! It’s taken a long time to get myself here. Instead of focusing on symptoms, I shift towards gratitude instead of frustration. I also reminded myself that it’s another opportunity to teach my nervous system safety.
• Humming is one of my favourite tools for stimulating the vagus nerve and helping me to feel calmer. I often hum songs to myself when waiting in lines, or crammed in busy train carriages, or even just as I am walking.
• I love this EMDR Bilateral Beats playlist on Spotify. I listened to this a bit whilst flying or when sleeping in a new place after a busy day. It has a nice calming effect for me.
• Usually at home I have my gratitude journal that I do before bed. When traveling I had a gratitude list in my Notes app, but I also would make the effort to list a few things I am grateful for just in my mind as I was falling asleep.
• I did a bit of Qi Gong throughout the trip. I love it as a way to shift my body into a calmer energetic state. I use this Youtube channel, and this Shibashi video is my favourite.
• I am starting to believe that shifting our thoughts is one of the most powerful ways of healing. I still spend a lot of my day watching my thoughts and redirecting away from any that aren’t health promoting.
• Listening to podcasts such as Tessa Malcarne’s, You Only Need You were a great pick me up on train and bus rides.

Overall, it was a great trip and I am extremely grateful for all the fun experiences I was able to have! I am looking forward to being home again, and bringing renewed vigour to my healing work after a little break and sharing the next steps in my journey here!!

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