This week I reached my one-year milestone of brain retraining with DNRS. A year ago when I started I was recovering from a concussion and years of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) / Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) as well as medical labels such as Chronic Lyme Disease, Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency and others. After previously dabbling in other rewiring programs, the concussion turned out to be a blessing in disguise that made me desperate enough to commit to DNRS fully. I look back and I am so proud of myself for committing to my practice, especially when I can see now that my brain was in a dorsal vagal state & full of CAN chemistry that made it very difficult to motivate myself.

It is hard to put all my wins and changes into writing, some of the rewiring has been so profound that I almost forget my old ways of thinking, behaving and being. I have completely shifted as a person, from someone who was living in fear, worry, unhappiness and anxiety, with a perfectionistic mindset that was defined by illness, to somebody who day by day is gaining independence, and freedom and is far more laid back, happy and joyful. I have listed some wins and learnings below. Note that I have mentioned some old diagnoses, in the hope that it may help others experiencing something similar, but generally, these are sentences and thoughts I don’t identify with these days:

• The biggest thing I have learnt is the ability to surrender. I realised that I had to truly believe the changes I wanted would come, and act as if they were already here, in order for some of my symptoms to dissipate. This was probably the hardest of all, believing that because it had happened to others it would happen to me, and trusting deeply in the science of neuroplasticity. Surrendering and believing that good things were coming allowed my nervous system to rest into this feeling of being okay, and I believe that is when I saw the most profound changes. It removed extra stress and worry and let my limbic system know that it doesn’t need to keep protecting me. Surrendering was very difficult for me to do initially, especially after years of being branded with medical labels and believing in a different paradigm of thinking. It has also become a nice skill to utilise in other areas of my life. Telling myself that everything will work out for me, and trusting and relaxing into that feeling is a nice way to float through life now.

• It is not a smooth road to recovery (although to be honest, compared to my experiences with holistic medicine, doing DNRS has led to more obvious improvements and less dramatic ups and downs). I have learnt that having new symptoms appear is a very normal recovery experience. I had episodes where it felt like my brain was ‘fighting back’ and trying to stay in CAN chemistry and I had a big flare in my dissociation/ brain fog symptoms as well as some other strange symptoms and thought patterns. However, I also had amazing moments where it was as though my brain clicked into a new pathway and I had almost unbelievable overnight improvements.

• One of the most exciting changes for me has been improvements in my brain cognition and capacity to think. It has improved to the extent that I have started to dabble in some study which has been very rewarding. Prior to DNRS, I tried many different holistic treatments to improve the constant brain fog that I had, but I would still dissociate in simple social conversations. It was a symptom that severely impacted my quality of life and ability to complete day-to-day activities and was probably my number 1 symptom as it stopped me from socialising and being out in the world. This has improved significantly and now I can feel my brain coming back to life. My intelligence, inquisitiveness, ability to solve problems, multi-task and think on my feet are returning, but excitedly, I can get through the day and partake in social events regularly (even on ‘ebb’ days). This was a symptom that initially I didn’t believe DNRS would help. 

• Another symptom that is hard to describe is a general feeling of malaise I carried throughout my days (almost like feeling constantly heavy and hungover). Yesterday I was walking through the city and I realised how GOOD I felt, I browsed some shops and walked between places with a sense of ease. A lightness and energy in my body that wasn’t there for a long time is returning and I am able to experience this feeling more regularly now.

• I truly thought for years that chronic infections were the underlying cause of my health issues (I did years of antibiotics, overseas treatments, herbs etc to kill infections for borrelia, bartonella, babesia etc). Now seeing everything through the lens of my limbic system, I truly understand that my body was in a chronic stress state that allowed infections to flourish. I can see that by healing my nervous and limbic systems, my immune system is returning and getting rid of these infections naturally. I am also aware that many symptoms that I previously believed were active infections were a result of a cross-wire in my limbic system, and are learned responses. For example, my brain fog and dissociation, I can see now that this symptom increases when my body is stressed and understand that it is my brain trying to keep me safe because it is perceiving a ‘threat’.  

• I have recently started going to Pilates classes again! I cried tears of happiness after my first class, it is amazing feeling my body get stronger, I am very excited to continue to develop my physical fitness and get back into some sports that I loved when I was younger, as well as try some other new sports. I have full confidence that with some time and gently building things up I will be hiking, running and able to complete any physical feat I set my mind to. Prior to this, I had been unable to do an exercise class since 2014

• I have started to run a tiny bit! This morning I woke up early (hello, energy! I used to sleep in until 10 am or later prior to DNRS) & walked down to the beach for the sunrise, I could see it was beautiful & wanted to make it to the beach in time to enjoy it so I jogged down. I am excited to continue building this aerobic capacity. I’ve included a picture of the beautiful sunrise above. 

• Speaking of sunrises, I feel more in tune and tapped into nature. A few months ago I read ‘Hardwiring Happiness‘ by Rick Hanson and since then I spend more time in my day appreciating the natural beauty of the world and allowing it to uplift me. 

• I am not defined by illness anymore, when I meet new people I tend not even to mention it. I am also not a victim of the events that have happened to me (even bringing up certain conditions and explaining in more detail above is totally out of nature for me now as I really don’t identify with those labels and conditions anymore)

• With improved energy, it is as though I have more hours in my day. I can complete more tasks throughout the day. I am also in a different brain state where I wake up motivated and ready to tick off my to-do list, with much more vitality, zest and up-and-go! I have so much more empathy for my pre-DNRS self, I used to beat myself up for not getting things done, but I can see now that my brain was stuck in a dorsal vagal freeze state.

• I didn’t realise how much guilt and lack of confidence I carried around because of my health history. I am moving past that now, I have built up my self-worth and confidence, and know that people are lucky to have me in their lives. This attitude has led to better friendships and is allowing me to grow into a beautiful, empowered version of myself. I also didn’t realise how many limiting core beliefs and stories I told myself around illness, for example, “I can’t have a housemate, I need to be in total control of my space, who would want to live with a sick person?”. Once I moved past this I realised how untrue these stories were. I keep trying to be the curious observer around this and breaking down any protective stories I am telling myself. These are often so ingrained into my thinking they take time for me to notice.

• I have much more balance and self-awareness in my relationships with others. I am more easygoing, and things that used to annoy me don’t get a reaction out of me at all anymore. My housemate says I bring “zen vibes” and always talks about the energy in our home being calm.

• My hormones have improved after years and years of trying all the different tests and supplements! I used to have debilitating periods and the week around it I would be in bed with many different symptoms. Now my periods are much less painful, and all the other associated symptoms and the mental anguish that also occurred with my cycle have improved significantly. This continues to improve with time and I know I will have healthy, balanced hormones and periods soon.

• My sense of smell feels totally normal now! Smells that used to be very strong for me I don’t notice now.

• I feel much more connected to my nervous system and body. I can feel when my limbic system is in a crosswire and sees something as a threat, and I have the tools to calm my body down now. I also know that over time, my capacity, resilience and ability to deal with various stressors will continue to improve, I have already noticed significant improvements in my ability to deal with confrontation and the inevitable unexpected stressors of life.

• I am travelling to Japan next month by myself and plan to do more travel again next year. I am also very, very excited to explore more of the world. Friends and family ask me, “Oh, but will you be OK? Will the hotels be OK? Will you be able to find all the food you need?” – I almost forget how uptight and rigid my lifestyle used to be. It is much nicer to be able to go with the flow and enjoy spontaneous travel and activity. 

• I still follow a fairly similar diet to before which I thoroughly enjoy but I have a much more positive and loving mindset around it. Interestingly, I previously would stress when I had to leave the house, worrying if the food I wanted would be available (hello taking a cooler bag with me everywhere). Now I am out and about in the world and don’t stress about food, but I still manage to eat basically the same way. All that unnecessary worry! When the food I prefer isn’t available, that’s okay too. I see food as nourishing, and a way of loving my body, as opposed to a rigid “non-toxic” diet that I “need” to follow exactly if I want to heal. Having a loving relationship with food has helped immensely.

• I am becoming more comfortable within myself, I worry less about what people think and am leaning into what I truly love and enjoy, as I work towards being my true and most authentic self. I have found that things tend to work out for me when my choices in life come from a place of love, and centredness and without the influence of my ego, or worrying about what others would think. This is an area I keep working on (some of those limiting core beliefs run deep!) but it feels nice growing and maturing into the best version of myself.

• Just a small note on symptoms (because I know this is what I looked for in blog posts when I was trying to heal). Yes I still have some symptoms, but every week I feel them improving and know with more time and more untangling of the cross-wiring in my brain, these will dissipate completely. A year ago if I knew I still had the symptoms I do, I would probably feel annoyed. If my symptoms were gone already, I would be doing different things in my life, living in a different city etc and that is a fact that used to bring frustration and regret. Now I genuinely feel myself surrendering and being okay with where I am, and in fact, I feel happy and content here. I know amazing health and energy are coming my way, and can see that creating long-lasting and permanent change takes time. I wholeheartedly believe and have a deep knowing that I will be thriving soon and for the rest of my life. I get excited about the things I will be able to do as these symptoms disappear, but I have also learnt how to be truly happy and excited in the current moment. I used to feel like I was chained down by my health, and even in beautiful settings, I couldn’t be happy. Last year I was in Italy swimming on the beautiful Amalfi Coast & I felt as though the weight of the world was on my shoulders, even in such a beautiful place. I also recall being in an appointment with a physical therapist and she came into the room and immediately said, “Oh I sense such sadness in your body”, I immediately broke down into tears because it was true. However, now I truly feel those chains loosening and can see beauty in my day-to-day life, I wake up with a sense of vitality and joy and feel a lightness in my body as I move through the world. I have already had incredible improvements and I know that things will happen for me as they are ready to happen for me. I keenly look forward to the day that my symptoms have no impact on my life, however, every day in the here and now is an opportunity to learn and grow into the very best me. 

Well, I could probably write A LOT more about how DNRS has changed my life and continues to. I love the term “high-vibe living”, I used to strive to be calmer, less agitated and more go with the flow and DNRS has given me the tools to make that a reality. Life is much more beautiful operating from a place where my nervous system is regulated. In my rounds I say “Way to go Alex, you’ve made the right choice, you are building a beautiful foundation of neural networks that are going to serve you for the rest of your life”. I am excited to continue working intensively on this and keep peeling back layers of the onion as I find my best, true, most regulated and calm self.

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